Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken. — Oscar Wilde. This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
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The date is January 23rd, 2020. The new decade is supposed to be a new start, where most people can leave their issues and regrets in the past. In 2019, I left a lot of things. I left my old car which I had received from my parents for my 16th birthday. I had also left behind one of the most meaningful relationships that I had so far in my life. We hadn’t been dating for long in most people eyes, a whopping 6 months. In those 6 months we went through a lot. Our fall-out was his stubbornness and my rash-thinking. Although this is not necessarily what we had talked about in class whatsoever, I was also told to talk about anything and everything. And, sadly, I am exceptional when it comes to talking about anything and everything. As much as I snickered when we were told about this assignment, I couldn’t help but feel excited about it too. Blogging and writing about my life has always been a curiosity of mine. I could never seem to catch the moments on camera but recounting them in my memory somehow let’s me relive them and release the emotions I never got to fully express. During this past week, I was faced with a resurfacing of old feelings about my Ex. This shocked and angered me because after two months of being stuck in a depressive state, I had felt like I had found myself again. However, especially on this day, I was reminded just how tricky the heart is and just how deeply I cared for him. Every little thing seemed to remind me of him, his favorite old fraternity t-shirt apparently being a popular design to wear in his organization still to this day, and our go-to ice cream place being hard to enter because I still remember his order to a T. The urge of wanting to send him things that I knew he’d enjoy and wanting to tell him the actions I accomplished after our separation-knowing how he saw most of my struggle to overcome those specific hurdles- were harder to deal with than expected. I do not regret leaving him though, I had lost myself in loving him. But diving into the chapter of “self-reflection” next week has me wondering how I will look inside myself to find the strength to finally let go of the grip I so badly wanted to believe I had already released.
The Life of Katie C. 